Life Pie.com

Simon's guide to self- peace

2009-03-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

    1.    Know that somethings you can change, somethings you can't. Change the things you can change, but never sweat the things you can't.
    2.    Accept other people's motivations and strategies. They fall under the things you can't change.
    3.    Do everything well, but do the things you love amazingly.
    4.    Experience the now to the fullest- dont miss a moment!
    5.    Find your mission- you already know it; just be honest with yourself.
    6.    YOU decide the person that you need to be- not outside influences.
    7.    Always choose the things which will make you grow, not the easiest things which normally will hold you back.
    8.    Do not judge external things- they are not naturally good or bad; it is us who decide.
    9.    Sometimes, it is not only the big things that make a difference- it is the breath-takingly small things that mean most.
    10.    Yesterday and tomorrow will never exist.

Free with every dog!

2009-01-30T07:11:00.001-08:00

I used to have a dog when I was young- a couple, actually. A young boys best friend is his dog, and we grew up together; climbing trees, endless walks and eternal skylarking.

Oh, sure the dog did crap everywhere. Those were the days when having dog shit in your treads of your shoe was a daily occurrence; it was a badge of youth. That's what lollypop sticks were for.

I can remember one day walking fresh smelly shit all over my mate's parents less-than-an-hour-old carpet. Oh, how we laughed, as his Father scrubbed and scrubbed. It never was the same.

Sure, there were occasional blindness incidents (we don't like to talk about those). And OK, rampant viruses and stomach infections, but hey, we must all eat a bit of dirt sometime in our lives, right?

Fast forward 20 years, and things have changed. Now free with every dog is a bag of poo. You see the people walking around with their dogs, come rain or shine, lead in one hand, bag o'shite in the other. Glamourous indeed!

It is now the vital assesscory- an old bag to carry the crap in. You see the people waiving them around as they partrol- against their will- around the local park. It's OK where they crap- as long as you carry it around with you. Lovely, warm, stinking, shit.

Not for me, I am afraid. Maybe it's because I am older; maybe it's because I like breathing clean air; maybe I am a snob.

Because I have no intention of porting the crap around in an old bag, or even going out when I do not want to late at night (I have got kids for that), I will not be getting a dog any time soon.

I will therefore be sticking with the 2 cats. And their muddy paw prints on the leather settee.

What makes you alive?

2009-01-25T08:29:00.000-08:00

“Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go and do that. For what the world needs, is people who have come fully alive.” Gil Baile

Great quote- but do you know what makes you come alive?

What is it that makes you come alive, feel alive and live? What do you do that makes you smile, breath and live?

So many people wake up, do what they have to do, and then go to bed. Occasionally,we get chance to fly a little, before being reigned back in.

Why can't we live all the time? Every day? How different would you life be? How much better would it be?

First step is to find it. Clarity is the power.

Then work out how to live doing it, getting paid.

Yes, it is hard. But isn't you life worth it?

“Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go and do that. For what the world needs, is people who have come fully alive.”

Earphones

2009-01-14T14:15:00.001-08:00

Just bought a new pair of sennheiser headphones.

GORGEOUS sound quality- right up there with our Bose sound dock.

But c'mon. 'Asymmetric headphones'? What is all that about? Basically, one side is longer than the other. That's it. Their lop-sided.

Great sound. Stupid design.

iPod touch upgrading experience

2008-07-13T00:47:00.000-07:00

When Steve Jobs announced the plans for the ipod touch and iphone back at the Keynote in January, I was stoked- this was so exciting. My wife had just got me an ipod touch for Christmas, as my last 3rd generation ipod 's hard drive had died. The new version is such a cool experience, I thought it could not get much better. But then Steve's announcements- of applications and mobile productivity-sounded such a strong and attractive proposition, I could hardly wait the six months it would take to get it up and running.

So I held my breathe for six months until the WWDC in June, and he announced the same thing again, this time you only have to wait a month. Sorry? The 2 main announcements of the year, and they both said 'wait'? This sounded like madness? Frustrated, I used to ziphone to unlock my ipod.The process took 2 minutes, and was very impressive- simple and straight forwards. Yes, this would do me.

A blip in my system caused me to have to restore the ipod at the beginning of July. With only a few days to go, I decided to hang with 1.1.4, and then upgrade.

July 10th, and the appstore on itunes went live- I could look around at all the loveliness available. Never to be one for half measures, I downloaded 50 applications for the ipod, salivating at the prospects of be able to use my ipod in new ways.

July 11th came and went, with mixed messages on upgrades and itunes availability. Frustrating, but understandable- the whole world was clambering for this new software after all.

July 12th, 7am, I managed to get the software. A 2 1/2 hour upgrade later, and I was there. It went quite smooth, just slowly; it was obviously a new operating system, not just an upgrade.

I have been using it 24 hours now, and I can honestly say, I am surprised. I am surprised how unstable it is- it feels like I have gone back to using Windows after using OSX. problems include-

If I use too many applications one after another, they crash, and I have to restart the ipod.
Randomly, starting any application will cause the ipod to restart.
The actual restart itself takes about 5 times longer than before- about 2 minutes to boot up.
The syncing takes longer as well- I am talking minutes longer, not seconds
Each time I plug it in, it back's itself up. That's great, except I am not on Mobile Me, and the back up takes about 5 minutes to complete.

And the App's? Well, let's say that the app's enable me to do things that I never knew I could do, and never wanted to do. After working through the 50 app's, I soon discovered that some of them required the features of the iphone (that is, a microphone and speaker) to be fully enabled; fair enough, so I delete those.

Then I get to the ones whose purpose is, well, rubbish. A great example of this is Hold On, an app which tests you to see how long you can keep a virtual button depressed.no, really- press the button and hold on to beat the time. How (why?) did Apple let this through the net?

So I have wittered down the number of useful app's, and am now down to about 20. I like the Facebook app (though I don't care for Facebook itself). Super Monkey ball is great, but frustrating to have to start over each time you go into it. Band seems good, as does Cube Runner and Blip Solitaire.Also, the free remote control for itunes is very impressive. I am not on AIM, so have not tried that app; though I am a big Twitter fan, and the Twitterific app does not seem much more than the mobile version of the web page.

What would be killer apps'? I am after specifics- something which would enable me to work and be productive- a Blogger app, so I can Blog from my ipod touch; and something that would enable me to surf my home network for pictures and files onto my ipod.

One other thing- my battery life is shortened considerable- you can almost see the battery guide going down on some app's.

24 hours in, and the post Christmas day feeling has gone. I am left with an unstable ipod, which does everything far to slowly. I have some great app's, some strange app's, and some which are a waste of digital air. I still love it though, and hope that as time goes on, things settle down, and some great and useful app's (to me at least) come out.

I think Apple needs to issue a stability update as well; though in fairness, an update normally comes out for all major updates not long after the original comes out.

So would I recommend it? Yes, without a doubt! What we are seeing is the start of something massive- computers in our hands. now all we need is a more comprehensive stable of app's (ilife on the ipod touch and iphone?), and a more comprehensive wireless networkign system available wherever you are (or a 3g attahcment to the ipod touch), and the next stage of computing is a reality.

Gordon Brown and his infinite wiseness

2008-07-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7492573.stm

Gordon- your a genuis. Save the world by not throwing out food.

WE THROW OUT FOOD BECAUSE WE DONT WANT IT, YOU CLOWN. JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY DON'T, IT WILL NOT MEAN THAT I EAT SOMETHING GONE BAD OR MOULDY, YOU JOKER.

Sigh. David Cameroon must be rubbing his hands.

New Iphone Shuffle

2008-06-09T09:15:00.001-07:00

Jumping- will I fly or fall?

2008-05-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

I wish I could fly.

Or at least, be absolutely sure that I would not fall.

If I knew this, then I would jump- I would, I would jump.

The problem is, I am so afraid of falling, and so much depends on me not falling, that I have forgotten why I wanted to jump in the first place.

I remembered this morning- or at least smelt it a bit. The reason I wanted to jump is simple- hope.

The thought of jumping allows me to have hope- it lights my imagination, gets me up in the morning, keeps me up at night; it even wakes me up!

But there are so many things which stop me from truly committing to the jump. My family, who I adore; my home, which is my castle; my lifestyle, which I love as a bare minimum.

If I fall, then they will all be punished.

So I don't jump.

I make pretend that I am sensible, that I am doing the 'responsible' thing by not jumping.

But I know that when I die, I die alone. I take all I did, and all I didn't do inside of me.

So I wait for the time to be right, unsure what defines that precise moment- I may have missed it, and never knew.

I look to those who have flown with pleasure and motivation. Rarely do I hear about those who fell- they get blocked out with all the noise of everyday life.

I know what I want- the hope of wings.

I do, I wish I could fly; if I could, then I would jump.

Instead, I close my eyes and wish, wish, wish.

But if I looked down, then I would see the earth far, far beneath me, my shadow disappearing in the distance.

For the things which I want to protect by not jumping are the things which are lift me without my knowing.

All the while, I sit and wish- wish to jump.

Just for the hope.

Facebook Friends

2008-04-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

Facebook is a networking system which is designed to bring people into new networks, and bring them closer together. However, it is also breeding a new phenomenon... Facebook friends.

Facebook friends are people who have lost contact with each other, and only exist in each others world by clicking 'forward to all' on Facebook. let me give you an example.

I used to work with Lisa. She's a great girl, with a very funny view on life. But she also lives 12 miles away, and when she stopped working where I work, we lost contact.

Enter Facebook. As we were facebook friends, and it being just too damn hard to delete each other off of facebook (all those clicks! Tired, just thinking about it!), we leave each other on there.

So when I get a video about a baby called Charlie biting me, or someone sleeping with Ben Affleck, I naturally click forward all- and Lisa receives it. It's networking at it's finest, you may say.

Switch back to real life. On the rare occasion we do see each other, and I mean rare- to the point of once a year, it is so uncomfortable. A smile, polite hello, and move on.

Back on Facebook, and everything gets forwarded on, and the relationship is young and virile. In life, it has aged and died.

Facebook friends are virtual friends; unfortunately, they are also only just virtually friends.

Invisible

2008-03-27T00:03:00.000-07:00

I woke up yesterday, and quickly found that I had turned invisible overnight. It was a strange thing- I could see my family, but they could not see me. I could see their lives without me.

I could see many things which I do not normally have access to- how well my children get on at school, how my colleagues and staff work when I am not around. I found out nick names I never knew I had, and that my traits are more socially unacceptable than I could ever image.

By simply observing, and not contributing, the world takes on a television like quality. I can see, follow, but not change. They do not know I am there, so I am always subject to complete honesty.

But my paranoia was fed as well. Like a starving dog looking for scraps, I soon found opportunities to pick and scavenge for things which under mind my self esteem. Are her relationships with others like I was always lead to believe? No, they are not- she spares me a lot of not only the tedium, but also the highs.

I dont remember her ever looking like that at me.

And if I was to stay invisible, day after day, week after week, these seeds I see before me may grow and shoot out branches which will in time provide fruit- ripe to be picked and chosen. A flirtatious smile, a glance across the room will soon become a touch, a linger, an embrace. And then I become further invisible.

In a world where I am not present, where even my shadow leaves no mark, people move on without me. New ruts and passions are made. My influence subsides.

The realisation is all too heavy for my body to carry, and I start to run. I could use this power for pre-pubescent voyeurism, but instead, I find it all too intoxicating, and must find solitude in the arms of mother nature.

I am soon with the birds and the flowers. But I find they act the same as always; they do not compensate for me not being there- in the same way they do not for me being there. My window on the world gets bigger, leaving me further away from that which I observe.

As the day comes to an end, I am drawn back to my home, where my heart needs to return. I am tired and saddened by all I have seen- the world is rushing on to forget me. I realise how small my cog is in this large machine, and I feel humble and insecure.

I let myself in to my home- if it still is my home, and climb the stairs to my bed to find her there already. She has fallen asleep whilst reading, the bedside light still lighting her face, the door slightly ajar. I can see her tears reflect wet on her face, and her hand reaching for my pillow.

I softly kiss her cheek- without waking, a smile comes on to her face, and she whispers goodnight to me, as if she can sense my presence.I may never hold her again, but I know there and then I still mean something to this wonderful person.

And that will never be taken away.

Joey don't share food

2008-03-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it is a man thing, this not sharing food. Thing is, in my life, it has always been a question of quantity over quality- I would rather have a lot of something mediocre, than have a little of something amazing. Strange, but true- and it is nowhere more apparent than with food.

Saturday night, we go shopping for food. Curry is a family favourite, so away we go. 'Do you want rice, love?' I ask her; 'it's alright, i don't want a lot, I will have some of yours'.

'NOOOOOO!!!!' If I wanted less than a portion (which is admittedly design for two people) then I would have bought a smaller portion! Now I have have to have either a smaller size portion, or buy 2, and make a pig of myself. Now insert instant tenseness, and the evening is designed to be a winner.

It's not just rice- it's everything. If I get myself a bottle of wine, as she is going out, then for her to have 'just a small glass' means that my plans are out the window, and I have to take less. I know it smacks of a limited mentality, but hey, it's me.

I am not the type of person which leaves any food or drink- if I went through the decision making process to get it, it's because I want it. If I didn't want it, I wouldn't buy it. It's a simple but honest approach- and the thought of then someone outside of my control having some 'because they are not that hungry', quite frankly, is enough to drive me to drink.

'No, no you can't have it. I want it. It's mine. That's why I have it, because I wanted it. Get your own.'

Sigh. now I need a drink.

Oh bugger, I have run out.

Still, I can always pinch some of Helen's....

Robotic Dog

2008-03-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

Sport Aid- random thoughts

2008-03-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

-What Adrian and Shearer did- the long cycle- amazing. As a guy has has rode a mile or two in his life, I can understand what they have done; brilliant- well done guys- RESPECT!
-WILL half man half manga cartoon Richard Hammond STAND SQUARE TO THE CAMERA DAM YOU!
-Dont know about Sport Relief, I fancy a bit of Davina relief.....

Bit Strip Presents....

2008-03-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

Jedi Knife

2008-02-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

More crap I found......

Jedi Ginsu Knife Commercial - video powered by Metacafe

Ipod blues.....

2007-11-23T11:26:00.000-08:00

This years Pumpkin

2007-11-02T09:40:00.000-07:00

Apple's newest Product!

2007-11-02T05:06:00.001-07:00

Funny Cat Video

2007-10-30T10:31:00.000-07:00

Royal Blackmail

2007-10-29T03:42:00.000-07:00

BBC Webpage

This concerns me- a lot.

Couple questions come to mind.

If you had a video of a royal, with sex and drugs, why only ask £50k? Would you not ask for £1m at least?
How long before the video appears on you tube?
Why are we not surprised by this story?

There is a lot more to this than meets the eye- some very serious questions are not being answered, or even acknowledged by the press. It is like they want to report it, but know they can't, so therefore, they are dumbing down what they can report to the simplest level so it makes sense with no holes in the story.

Northern Rock

2007-09-17T23:05:00.000-07:00

Oh dear. What has happened.

Fact is, nothing much has happened- NR was just covering their arse.

Problem is, with all the funds being taken out, this could be - could be- significant for the English banking system.

A&L shares started to drop yesterday. If they continue, then the panic can spread across the network- onto other banks. If this happens, then the shake up is British Banking will start.

But with the Government and the Bank of England backing it all up, as promised in the press release last night, this could bring the downfall of the government.

If I believed in conspiracy theories, this, along with the determination of foot and mouth, could make me very uncomfortable.

Is this why Gordan Brown has not called an election yet?

Chat up lines....

2007-07-21T02:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.onmylist.com/category/miscellaneous/Best_or_worst_Pickup_Lines_1

Double rainbow

2007-07-08T12:56:00.000-07:00

Nelson Mandela

2007-06-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

Fact file
Name: Nelson Rolihlahla MANDELA (His given name Rolihlahla means "to pull a branch of a tree", or more colloquially, "troublemaker".)
Age: 89
d.o.b: 18/july/1918
p.o.b: Qunu, Mthatha, South Africa, Africa
Interesting fact: One of the king's sons, named Mandela, became Nelson's grandfather and the source of his surname. However, being only the Inkosi's child by a wife of the Ixhiba clan (the so-called "Left-Hand House"), the descendants of his branch of the royal family were not eligible to succeed to the Thembu throne.

Childhood

At seven years of age, Rolihlahla Mandela became the first member of his family to attend a school, where he was given the name "Nelson," after the British admiral Horatio nelson, by a Methodist teacher who found it difficult to pronounce Mandela's native name.
His father died of tuberculosis when Rolihlahla was nine, and the Regent, Jongintaba, became his guardian.
Following Thembu custom, he was initiated at age sixteen, and attended Clarkebury Boarding Institute. He completed his Junior Certificate in two years, instead of the usual three. Destined to inherit his father's position as a privy councillor, in 1937 Mandela moved to Healdtown, the Wesleyan college in Fort hare which most Thembu royalty attended.
Aged nineteen, he took an interest in boxing and running.
Shortly after leaving Fort Hare, Jongintaba announced to Mandela and Justice (the Regent's own son and heir to the throne) that he had arranged marriages for both of them. Both young men were displeased by this and rather than marry, they elected to flee the comforts of the Regent's estate to go to Johannesburg. Upon his arrival, Mandela initially found employment as a guard at a mine. However, this was quickly terminated after the employer learned that Mandela was the Regent's runaway adopted son. He later started work as an articled clerk at a law firm thanks to connections with his friend and fellow lawyer Walter Sisulu. While working there, he completed his BA degree at the University of South Africa (UNISA) via correspondence, after which he started with his law studies at the University of Witwatersrand. During this time Mandela lived in Alexandra Township, north of Johannesburg.

Adulthood

His arrest
In 1961, Mandela became the leader of the ANCs armed wing, Umkhonto we Sizwe (translated as Spear of the Nation, also abbreviated as MK), which he co-founded. He co-ordinated a sabotage campaign against military and government targets, and made plans for a possible guerrilla war if sabotage failed to end apartheid. A few decades later, MK did indeed wage a guerrilla war against the regime, especially during the 1980s, in which many civilians were killed. Mandela also raised funds for MK abroad, and arranged for paramilitary training, visiting various African governments.
Mandela explains the move to embark on armed struggle as a last resort, when increasing repression and violence from the state convinced him that many years of non-violent protest against apartheid had achieved nothing and could not succeed.
Mandela later admitted that the ANC, in its struggle against apartheid, also violated human rights, and has sharply criticised attempts by parts of his party to remove statements supporting this fact from the reports of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission.
On 5 August 1962 Mandela was arrested after living on the run for seventeen months, and was imprisoned in the Johannesburg Fort. The arrest was allegedly made possible because the CIA tipped off the police as to Mandela's whereabouts and disguise.
Becoming president
South Africa's first democratic elections in which full enfranchisement was granted were held on 27 April 1994. The ANC won 62% of the majority votes in the election, and Mandela, as leader of the ANC, was inaugurated on 10 May 1994 as the country's first black President, with the National Party's de Klerk as his deputy president in the Government of National Unity. As President from May 1994 until June 1999, Mandela presided over the transition from minority rule and apartheid, winning international respect for his advocacy of national and international reconciliation.

By Holly Paddon

Ramblings of a bald man

2007-06-22T09:02:00.001-07:00

Walking into work this morning, a few things made me smile/ think.
OK, so don't ask why I was looking at this (I just don't know anyway); thing is, why is the Thong wax FROM £14? Does it depend on the size and density of the lady garden? If it is too big, does it involve more than one person? Higher labour costs? Plus, how would you feel if they took one look, shook theirs heads and said 'this is a fifty pounder here, luv'?

I saw this last weekend, and was offended; saw it again this morning, and was just as pissed. This woman is so thin, it makes my stomach turn over. Talk about size zero! To actually see it like this, larger than life (or should that be smaller than life?), is revolting. My 13 year old is the same size- and I would be VERY alarmed if she was the same size when she was 17 or 18. Topshop, you will no be having my money whilst you promote such role models.

One thing I do like to do is to look at pictures in art shops. Here are a couple from a shop window in Gammon Walk, Barnstaple. I like this first one, because of the story it shows . The artist has obviously done an amazing sunny background, layered the grass on top, then the men, working. I like this transparent way of creation. I also love the men (especially their noses!). It makes me feel they are in France, working on a hot day. The one standing is discussing what beer they will be drinking later, whilst the one digging is concerned that he makes sure the body is fully covered- an ex-lover, I am thinking.

Crap pic, I know (though who is that handsome hunk reflected in the window?). Liked this picture for the pop art brush strokes- makes it feel of movement and the vibrancy of the moment. Could almost make me wish to be there in the city (Why would anyone want to be in a city?).

Computer update

2007-06-17T00:15:00.000-07:00

I love my iMac. No really- I LOVE it.

Looking back, it has been clear to me how much time I have wasted by just tweaking Windows set up. Ethan and I wanted to watch a dvd on the laptop (Vista) on Friday- took 20 minutes to get it ready, and then the volume was knackered.

With my Mac, I just pop it in and go- no setting, no turning other programs off to get it to run faster- nothing, just pop and play.

In fact, on the laptop, I am taking Vista off, and going back to XP. It's just too damn annoying and slow. Yes, I know that most of this is down to the laptop as opposed to the software, but even so, everytime I want to do something, I have to tweak it, set it up, click the 'allow' box half a million times.... just too bloody annoying.

On the iMac however, I have had little or no setting up- just really click and go.

I know Helen has been a bit frustrated by the iMac- but as she says, she does not like change. She does not like the way when you click in Firefox address bar, it does not go blue and you have to delete it out.

We are both having problems with the speed of the mouse as well- I have set it to the fastest, but it is still slow. I think I will have to try a different Mouse Mat though.

So it is not all sweetness and light, but the whole, as I said last night, I don't think I would ever buy a PC again- it will be Mac's from here on in.

View across the Taw

2007-06-17T00:08:00.000-07:00

Taken yesterday; love the way the town is reflected in the water. Resized and colours tweaked in iPhoto.

I Switched

2007-06-02T01:09:00.000-07:00

Wanted to give an update to how I am getting on with the iMac.

I have switched from Windows. Full time. It has taken most of a week to get all my stuff across- the email's were the hardest, but tooth and claw I have done it.

Why? Quite simply, OSX is a joy- a sheer joy. It does everything quicker smoother and much more visually than Vista ever does. It has soon become apparent that visually at least, Vista is years behind OS X.

But then, that is what Apple does best- style. But how does it fair with substance?

I would say that 12 years of Windows, I have as much knowledge about OS X in two weeks. And I know a fair bit about Windows- it is just that OS X is so simple and transparent- it's a real joy.

Downsides? Couple. I do miss the scroll wheel (though that will come, in the shape of a mighty mouse). I also miss Mailwasher- I am too tight to pay for it again on the Mac- but Mail does it well.

But wait I hear you cry- what about the software which you can not get for the Mac? I like the fact that once I have a couple more programs set up and running, that's it- it is complete, a tool ready to be used. I can now be productive, rather than spending hours setting up and tweaking programs- Vista, say for example- for optimum performance and just to bloody run.

So there you go- I have switched, I am now a Mac user. I like the eccentric nature to my character it gives me- I feel trendy, young and a bit studenty.

Is that available to down load on the Vista?

Riis admits to Doping

2007-05-26T00:38:00.000-07:00

www.cyclingnews.com - the world centre of cycling

I suppose that I have always been a bit naive. I enjoyed the 96 tour- the sight of Riis looking in Ulrich's eyes, and just riding off was great television.

I also respected his work with the CSC squad- the film Overcoming shows this man to be a great.

Now it is gone.

Fair plays for him to come out- but let's look at the facts. 1996- drugs. 1997- Ullrich- implicated in Puerto. 1998- Pantani. Then the Armstrong era.

I am sorry Lance- it is getting harder. He is a hero to me, but as time goes by, it is getting harder to see his halo.

As Jay Leno said in an interview with Lance, "Hey Lance, you never tested positive for drugs, right?"

But neither did Riis- who now admits that it was a way of life, and he never kept it secret- even his kids knew.

I think fair enough to him for coming clean; but the thing this has done is undermine the whole drugs test system- it just does not work.

New Toy!

2007-05-20T01:06:00.000-07:00

Here is the iMac , in all it's glory. Sexy looks, designer image- is it style over substance? Time will tell!

A new mac!

2007-05-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

Lucky day- managed to get a new (well, secon dhand, but VERY little use) iMac.

VERY impressed! It is simple, straight forward, and the images are something to behold.

I will keep you psted on how it gets on compared to my 3 windows machines!

If i can network it on to the home system, then great- the windows machines are going out, and in will come the mac!

Took me a bit to realise that the apple key and tab shifts between open windows, but the rest is coming easily. I do need dreamweaver on here, and hopefully I can get across my music and that- and then away I go!

www.cyclingnews.com - the world centre of cycling

2007-05-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

www.cyclingnews.com - the world centre of cycling

So that's why he resigned from Discovery. Does this mean he will be stripped of his 2006 giro title? Also, what does this say about the tests- the tests that find Landis guilty, and Basso innocent?

The open wound continues....

Circus Skills Day, Rock Park, Barnstaple

2007-05-07T07:30:00.000-07:00

Great day!

We had a try on different things, Ethan rode many unicycles, I rode them badly, Holly had a giggle as well!

Worth the effort- great fun!

Under-fire Basso parts with team

2007-04-30T11:36:00.000-07:00

BBC SPORT | Other Sport... | Cycling | Under-fire Basso parts with team

Bloody hell!

I can imagine lots of blogs are now commenting on Ivan Basso and his leaving Discovery. Yes, it smacks of guilt pending the DNA test- why did he ASK to leave?

What now for the Disco boys? Who will they ride for in the Giro- only hours away?

Why does the defending champion ask to leave his team only hours before the race starts?

This shit has gone on long enough, and is already damaging this year's racing. I say SORT IT OUT- I know the Spanish authorities are being guarded to protect the god like footballers, but for all our sakes, SORT IT NOW.

You swines.

Unicycling with Kris

2007-04-26T23:00:00.001-07:00

If only it were that simple Kris- God knows I have tried.....

Codden Hill Action

2007-04-18T12:48:00.001-07:00

Ethan rides the hill!

Kris Holm Freeride video

2007-04-15T00:08:00.001-07:00

This is a great vid; worth watching to the end- especially the bit on the bridge!

GRAND THEFT AUTO IV

2007-03-30T13:06:00.000-07:00

GRAND THEFT AUTO IV

Looking good- hope it is on the PC (though I doubt if it will run on my spec). Could be the reason to upgrade to a next gen console?

I WANT IT NOW!

YouTube - BBC One - Comic Relief - Ricky Gervais

2007-03-23T11:50:00.000-07:00

YouTube - BBC One - Comic Relief - Ricky Gervais

Gervais at his best- simply brilliant.

BBC NEWS | World | South Asia | Jade Goody visits Indian capital

2007-02-26T23:02:00.000-08:00

BBC NEWS | World | South Asia | Jade Goody visits Indian capital

Yawn!

Email Laugh

2007-02-22T01:47:00.000-08:00

Sent to me in an email today- worth sharing!

Vista Upgrade

2007-02-19T04:47:00.000-08:00

Took the plunge last weekend, and upgraded to Vista Premuim from XP media edition last weekend.

The upgrade itself was alright, but did take 2 hours to do. I was then met with Vista- looked nice, all a bit familiar. Took a bit of tweaking to get the aero working, and this is a nice feature.

Other than that, I don't know if I would bother. My wireless Realtek card does not work, and the drivers don't work; I have a 1gb memory stick to upgrade the memory (nice feature this), but it still puts along.

I will let you know on my long term thoughts, but if you asked me now, I would say don't bother if your XP is working well.

Tinkoff presents... - RoadCyclingUK Features

2007-02-05T22:50:00.000-08:00

Tinkoff presents... - RoadCyclingUK Features

How orange?

No, really, I know it must be the lights, but are they co-sponsored by Tango or something?

Big Brother - the official BigBrother UK website on channel4.com

2007-01-29T14:12:00.000-08:00

Big Brother - the official BigBrother UK website on channel4.com

So Shilpa wins.

Funny how Jade was instrumental in this, as well as her own downfall.

Who do I think should of won?

Well, either Jermaine or Dirk for me.

Global Warming

2007-01-29T14:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's a crocus. Apparently they are common this time of year; however, the house across the street also has Daffodil's coming in to bloom. Now I ain't no Alan Titchmarsh, but I know they are early.

I did try to take a pic of them, but there were dogs, and the police were called.

So I didn't.

YouTube - Conan - iPhone Commercial

2007-01-14T02:48:00.000-08:00

YouTube - Conan - iPhone Commercial

Brilliant!

10 Years Younger

2007-01-10T13:01:00.001-08:00

Sod 10 year’s younger; I want to see 10 years older, where a quite fit woman gets put in a room for an hour with a box of cigs, and a bottle of whiskey, and has to age 10 years.

What a winner! The prize is a Kebab on the way home.

Another idea I have been working on is ‘Ross Road Motel’- where host and all round funny guy Jonathan Ross goes to a Motel, and tries to sort out their problems with his own brand of unique humour.

What with the book and the merchandise, it will be big…..

Month and a bit off.....

2007-01-10T12:58:00.000-08:00

Month and a bit off

So I notified Orange on December 1^st that I would be moving house on the following 8^th; no worries they said, you will be back on by the 15^th; sorted I thought.

We moved house, went smoothly (well, as smoothly as the most stressful thing along with Divorce that you can do. Funnily enough, I bet that moving AND divorce often go hand in hand- Helen and I have had some wonderfully close moments through this!). I rang them a couple days after I had moved, and let them know that it went OK, and to check that the broadband is still on track. No problems again.

The date came, and no broadband. I rang up on the night before (bit cheeky I thought, but worth a try). ‘I have no broadband yet’ I explained. ‘We can’t do it for you Mr Paddon, there are incompatible products on your line’, they explained. ‘What?’ I asked. ‘Contact BT’ they said.

So I rang BT. The people who lived here before us, their broadband was not coming off the line until the Thursday, so my broadband could then be installed. No chance of stopping their broadband early; fair enough, I thought- it’s only 4 days off.

So Thursday came, BT said the line is clear, so I ring Orange again.

‘My line is clear- let’s do it’.

‘OK; we can get it done for you Mr Paddon on January 9^th.’

’WHAT???’

‘Yes, we have to start the 15 days again I am afraid’

‘WHAT??? But that’s over a month since I first let you know! Why did you not tell me I had incompatible products- I might have pushed it through earlier!- your still taking my money aren’t you!’

‘Yes Mr Paddon, once you are back up and running, you can apply for a refund’

So it’s now nearly a month after we moved, and still no broadband. I pop into the local library sometimes to delete the 4000+ spam emails which are stopping the genuine, joke emails coming through which I have missed (I bet I will have 10+ Photoshop Sadam hanging jokes).

But during this time, I have learnt to sit down and watch Television, and talk to my family again. I have done stuff around the house which I simply would not have done. The garage is looking fine- much better than it should do at this stage. My son and I have played Darts more than we should have if I had had broadband.

Please hurry up Orange!

I have missed a lot to comment on during this time, which I have let go by. Christmas, Minehead, the house move itself, Sadam’s execution, un-celebrity big brother, I’m an un-celebrity get me out of here, BBC sports royal personality of the year; all have been and gone, with the comment of I have strong opinion’s on.

However, something which has really pushed me today is the news of the condition of the military homes on the news. Brize Norton was shown, but could be any of them really; our soldiers are in squalor.

Whatever your thoughts on the Iraq wall (I agree with it), our troops have gone and risked their lives. They defend people like me against the world, and allow me to make rants like this. Without the forces, we would be at best under a Nazi regime, even if we had not given up our nation before then. The Falklands would be Argentinean; and there would not have been an execution of someone who fails to comply with NATO rules for me to disagree with.

Fact is, we are who we are, because the forces are the real part of the politician’s decisions. And that’s fair enough- it is the job they sign up for; but whilst they are doing this, I do feel they should be able to live in conditions above breadline, with equipment that works, and a package which represents the freedom they give us. I don’t want to hear about Soldier’s who have died because their equipment was taken from them the week before, or depended on technology which was second rate. They deserve the best to make their jobs the easiest, so we have the greatest chance to live our lives so we can complain about education and the health system.

I am not brave enough to stand and defend our country- I want those who are to reap the rewards.

Help I am a d listed celebrity, get me on television!

2006-11-15T12:20:00.000-08:00

It's back!

And as usual, it's Ant and Dec which are the true stars.

However, David Guest is giving them a run for their money... I thought I would hate him- but he is managing what they all go on there for- to make the public like them and kick start their (deceased) careers.

I fact, at this early stage, I would suggest he could win it.

Sex

2006-11-12T04:39:00.000-08:00

Lance Armstrong Struggles.....?

2006-11-06T23:08:00.000-08:00

So, Lance struggled?

Under 3 hours (OK, so he had pacing); but under three hours is struggling?

I think that I should try it- that will show them what struggling is!

Halloween

2006-10-31T12:36:00.000-08:00

Sam Jones (Ethans mate), Holly and Ethan go begging for sweets.

Walked miles in the cold; had a laugh though. Good atmosphere- considering I do not agree with Halloween, but then, that's another story...

Our new videos!

2006-10-28T12:57:00.000-07:00

Video 1

Video 2

Check out our new uni videos- on you tube!

TWENTY DOLLARS

2006-10-22T23:18:00.001-07:00

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

Basso

2006-10-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

So, Basso is leaving CSC- Discovery here he comes? The connection between Armstrong and Basso has always been obvious and strong- so this is the natural progression (the other team he has been linked with is Milram- which I can't see, to be honest).

But, when the tour started, there was big scandal, and expulsions everywhere- but look at us now, October. What has changed? What is better? What is preventing this happening next year- and the year after?

We need action to ensure that this is the last year that drugs touches the riding.

We need action now! Not just Pat McQuaid talk, and Dick pound stupidity and scape-goat ism. We need real action!

Marketing

2006-10-17T23:10:00.001-07:00

The buzzword in today's business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:

1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing.

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in
bed."

That's Advertising.

3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.

4. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.

5 . You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Recognition.

6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.

That's a Sales Rep.

7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

That's Tech Support.

8. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing., so you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the centre and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

That's Junk Mail.

9. You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and grabs your ass.

That's the Governor of California.

10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you were offended.

That's America.

Quotes from the Edbinburgh Festival

2006-10-15T23:08:00.000-07:00

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
Jimmy Carr

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.
Chris Addison at the Pleasance

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.
Patrick Monahan at the Gilded Balloon

The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died. Dido must be sh*tting herself.
Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.
Susan Murray at the Underbelly

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?
Adam Bloom at the Pleasance

My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a tw*t.
Susan Murray at the Underbelly

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening... Self-raising?"
Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face.
Jeremy Limb, at the Trap

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".
Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron

I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the Girl out of Cork...
Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax.
Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".
Steven Alan Green at C34

Hey - you want to feel really handsome? Go shopping at Asda.
Brendon Burns at the Pleasance

I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already got one!"
Norman Lovett at The Stand

It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.
Chris Addison at the Pleasance

I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it.
Arnold Brown at The Stand

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.
Milton Jones at the Underbelly

Damien Rice

2006-10-15T00:44:00.000-07:00

Yes! Found out the new album is on it's way! Brilliant!

Not sure about it being a perfect partner for The Killers, though; I do like both artist(s), but 'perfect partner'?!

Role on November 6th!

Floyd's Hip

2006-10-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

http://www.floydlandis.com/blog/

I love the fact that the company who makes Floyd's new hip advertise on his website. Very cool.

Interbike show

2006-10-05T23:07:00.000-07:00

www.cyclingnews.com presents the Interbike show

Is this me? Sure looks like me.

The fact that we have never been seen in the same room at the same time gives it away, a bit.

I think.

Extras

2006-10-05T23:05:00.000-07:00

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbctwo/programmes/?id=extras

Brilliant! The knife twists and twists, and there is no limit from the embarrassment. Unlike other British twee comedies, which retrieve the feeling of being uncomfortable before the end, this just keeps on digging.

A pure pleasure to watch, and the stars belittling themselves (last night- Ronnie Corbett snorting cocaine, Stephen Fry as a pretentious actor darling, and Moira Stewart as a dealer- Chris Martin was playing himself!) is brilliant.

Love it- great work Ricky and Steven.

LIKEaBIKE Jumper

2006-09-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

LIKEaBIKE Jumper :: LIKEaBIKE Official UK Distributor.

As I have said before; WTF?

Wisdom

2006-09-27T05:49:00.000-07:00

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get
into my own pants

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a
relative

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I
said "Implants?" She hit me.

4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or
a moaner.

8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them
get elected.

10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Sh!thead's.

11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special
person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am
perfect.

13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
days I have stayed alive.

14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president
and 50 for Miss America?

15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a
peeing section in a swimming pool?

16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see
naked?

17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a
true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn..that was fun!"

20. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have
signed up in the first place!

21. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunky dunk."

22. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.

23. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to
tell the difference.

24. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we
could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

25. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet.

26. My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think
that's what he said).

27. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

28. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would
have started with something called LABOUR!

29. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go,
but FAT cells live forever.

Discovery Channel axe 11 riders

2006-09-24T08:28:00.000-07:00

BBC SPORT | Other Sport... | Cycling | Discovery Channel axe 11 riders

What the?

On face value, this looks liek a budget cut; either that, or they have paid well over the top for Leipheimer.

"We are now looking at new objectives in addition to the Tour de France."

Hincapie is still there; Hammond was off to T Mobile anyhow.

You have to wonder if it is linked to this story, don't you....
BBC SPORT | Other Sport... | Cycling | Cycling accepts new drug measures

BBC NEWS | England | North Yorkshire | TV host seriously hurt in crash

2006-09-20T23:18:00.000-07:00

BBC NEWS | England | North Yorkshire | TV host seriously hurt in crash

I like Richard- he always seems like a nice person, who I could go out for a drink with (not that he would find me that interesting).

Hope you do well, mate.

Lance Armstrong's Self-Inflicted Cancer?

2006-09-20T23:14:00.000-07:00

Lance Armstrong's Self-Inflicted Cancer?

More crap!

New York Daily News - Home - Mike Lupica: Lance's cycle of deceit

2006-09-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

New York Daily News - Home - Mike Lupica: Lance's cycle of deceit

What a cynical piece of trash.

Guilty because everyone else did it. No other reason; in fact, no being found guilty in spite of being the most tested man in history, is passed over. The others did, so must of Lance Armstrong.

As I said; a cynical piece of trash.

I am not saying that Armstrong is clean- all the years of shit being thrown at him prevents this- but nothing- NOTHING- has stuck.

How much more of 'we will never know the truth?'

Why must the truth be something different to what we know now?

Millar takes landmark Spanish win

2006-09-10T23:22:00.000-07:00

BBC SPORT | Other Sport... | Cycling | Millar takes landmark Spanish win

Good man!

Charlotte Church

2006-09-02T01:58:00.000-07:00

Charlotte Church

The new Charlotte Church show started last night on Channel 4. Was quite looking forward to it- I do like Charlotte, the old scrubber!- but I am sorry to say, it was rubbish. Far too structured and prompted; even the normally malaise Denise Van Outen looked bored and middle of the road.

I do hope that it was because it is the start of the series, and she needed a structure to get her through it, and will be more 'free-form' as it continues. It needs a TFI Friday approach- live, more mistakes and a natural flow- instead of the edited and directed rubbish it was.

Love you Charlotte; hate the show.

Combe Martin Wildlife and Dinosaur Park - a day full of discovery in north devon

2006-08-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

Combe Martin Wildlife and Dinosaur Park - a day full of discovery in north devon

Had a great day out yesterday- as we always do when we go there- at the Combe Martin Adventure Wildlife Park. Quite expensive, but as I said, it is always a good day. Would not recommend it to push chairs/ wheel chairs though, a fair bit of hills to see it all.

SFGate: Daily Dish : Crow Still Sad About Armstrong Split

2006-08-21T23:25:00.000-07:00

SFGate: Daily Dish : Crow Still Sad About Armstrong Split

She broke it off to 'test Lance'?

WTF?

Looks- 9/10, mental stability- 0/10

Holly's Story

2006-08-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

The sky was blue above him with barley a cloud to rest the eye. Doubts had filled his mind running in endless circles of what-ifs? Taking a deep breath, Henry looked straight ahead, closed his eyes and stepped over the edge. . .

Wind lashed at his face. He was almost paralyzed. His eyes were clenched shut. He was too scared to even scream. With a large splash, he landed in the ice cool water. He was only just able to float. The feeling had gone in his arms and legs.

That night he woke again, he slowly opened his eyes. He was on a beach; slowly he sat up and looked around. Where am I he thought to him self. He saw something move in the distance, he slowly eased on to his pain-filled legs. Walking that way his eyes filled with tears. He had never felt such a gut wrenching pain. When he finally got there, he found a rag as black as the sky above him. It had started to move. He reached for the cover and quickly pulled it off. Underneath was a puppy. It was as yellow as corn, as big as a loaf of bread and its fur was ruffled. Henry sat down next to it, placed the cover over himself and clenched the dog to his chest.

When he woke in the morning, the dog was next to him asleep. The blanket was thrown over both of them. He peeled the sooty cover of the puppy and rapped it round himself.

When the puppy woke, he started to head into the lush green forest. After what felt like hours of trekking, he found a tree full of juicy fresh pineapples. He reached up for the lowest branch. He clung onto it tightly. He swung himself up to sit on the branch. He slowly stood up reached for the next branch to sit on. He carried on doing this until he was at the top of the tree. He looked around. On the horizon, he saw what appeared to be a small town but it was along way away and would take ages to walk too. He made the blanket into a sack. He filled it to the top with juicy pineapples.

He was walking until the sun set through muddy swamps and large bushes. He lay down with the puppy at his side. He had a cold restless night. All he could think about was the town. How familiar it looked. Then finally, he knew. That was his town. It must have been he thought. Then it all came back to him. He remembered when his tomb stoned of devils reach the highest cliff in that county. No one had ever done it and lived. He quickly picked up the puppy and the sack and started for baker Ville his town.

When he arrived, it was quite. There was no one to be seen. He ran everywhere but no one was there. Many bad thoughts crossed his mind that he would not believe. Then he ran to the church the puppy bounding behind him. He saw the whole town there.” mum, mum it’s me Henry” he cried.
Out of the crowd came his mum.

” Henry I thought you were dead” she sobbed.

”so did I.” Creid Henry.

By Holly Paddon, 12 years old

wisdom

2006-08-17T15:27:00.000-07:00

Here are 39 steps to wisdom:

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. I t enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

31. Never lick a steak knife.

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep inside we all believe that we are above average drivers.

37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

38. Your friends love you anyway.

39. Thought for the day:

Never be afraid to try something new.

Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.

A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Ebay Joker

2006-08-13T02:08:00.000-07:00

Check out this nice motor, which closes 12th August

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=010&item=200015867231

Then check out the same car, which finished 17th June

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=9835&item=4651166464

Any differences? Perhaps, the mileage?

Proof!

2006-08-07T11:56:00.000-07:00

See!

Proof I can nearly do it!

Ethan is still load's better, and I can only go for 30m's at the most, but I AM getting there!

Tintagel Waterfall

2006-08-07T11:25:00.000-07:00

We also travelled along the coast towards Boscastle, and went into the waterfall along there. A long walk, which is not that well signposted; however, once there, it was incredible. Not just the waterfall, but also the 'shrine' at the bottom of it- it seem's people think it has magical properties (no doubt's boasted by the local's Arthurain theory, which as they say, has little or no basis in reality).

The shrine of trinkets- money, personal belongings, photo's, stone shrine's, make for macarbe but interesting observing, and leaves you feeling deep- and deeply disturbed.

Worth a visit!

http://www.stnectan.currantbun.com/

Tintagel

2006-08-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

Had a great day yesterday! Kids away at Skern Lodge with the Scouts, so Helen and I ventured in Cornwall to Tintagel. Really hot- but very interesting.>

Breakthrough!

2006-08-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

I can unicycle!

No really- I can!

Thanks to an erronenous post on Unicyclist.com, I started to think about my crank length. With this in mind, I tried Ethan's uni- which has 127mm cracks, as opposed to my 140mm- and hey presto- the length of the playground (50m's!)

Brilliant- I am so excited!

So, I have now ordered a new seat and the magic 127mm cranks- hope they come tomorrow!

I CAN DO IT!

Drugs

2006-08-01T14:48:00.000-07:00

Landis's drug's results should be known on Saturday, although even he is saying that they will not say anything different to the first.

Basso and Ullrich are SO quiet, it is deafening.

The sport is in tatters.

Come back Lance- please come back.

Two wheels good, one wheel harder

2006-07-29T03:39:00.000-07:00

Two wheels good, one wheel harder

Just got the Simon Paddon.com website up and running again. I want to keep it simple and sweet- minimalistic as it was.

Pleased with it- nice to have it back!

A black time (again) for cycling

2006-07-27T23:49:00.000-07:00

It's Armstrong all over again- guilty on the first test- before the second test. From this day forwards (as even Landis says) it will be hard to make this go away.

Why was his name released on the strength of the first test? Surely it should be with held until the second test is announced?

IF it is true, and only IF, then where now for the Tour? I know that the Vuelta has not suffered too much following last year's Heras incident- but the Tour is a much different beast.

In fact, if you think about it, the Tour can not win through this- Landis will now be perceived to be a druggy (despite not being let the correct procedures of waiting until the second positive); if he passes the second test, the headlines are out there already- the Tour is tarnished.

Let's talk straight about this- you read this week's Cycling Weekly, who go in to lengths to describe the boredom and monotony of the Armstrong era, and then say how great this whole Landis thing is for cycling- then BANG! Fact is Armstrong was one of the most tested athlete's ever, and was clean for his test's (ignoring the cortisone test in 2000(ish) and the whole l'equipe crap witch hunt). He was through our current test's -clean. No matter how much shit was thrown, he came through CLEAN. Previous winner- oh, that will be Pantani then- NOT CLEAN. Landis- the next winner - his win is 2 minutes old- potentially not clean.

A way forwards? An amnesty from January 1st 2007- anyone caught after then, lifetime suspension.

One more thing. Someone pay Armstrong to come back and ride next year. This will be to give the legacy a NEW start- a new hope.

Nothing to do with so I can watch him ride in London.

Leipheimer leaving Gerolsteiner for Discovery

2006-07-26T02:27:00.000-07:00

Leipheimer leaving Gerolsteiner for Discovery

What the f**k?

Tell you what, with Ullrich (speculated) to be joining Discovery- why not bring across Basso and Landis- perhaps Valverde- then it's job done- next year's tour will be won by a Disco Boy!

Ethan does 50m's!

2006-07-26T02:24:00.000-07:00

The Paddons on Unicycles!

Ethan hit's the 50m mark! I still suffer around the 20m point, and feel incredibly frustrated.

Ullrich will not contest sacking

2006-07-25T06:04:00.000-07:00

BBC SPORT | Other Sport... | Cycling | Ullrich will not contest sacking

Surprising! Why is he not defending his innocence?

Also, as he has been linked to a drug's scandal, can another team take him on under the Pro-tour rules?

Ullrich to Discovery?

So many questions!

Unicycling

2006-07-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Getting better! This is one of my better attempts at riding my Uni!

Tour de France 2006: Epic! Landis rides their wheels off; takes Stage 17!

2006-07-21T01:04:00.000-07:00

Actually, thinking about it, imagine how much different it would have been if the last 2 stages were around the other way; that is, first Landis grabs 6 minutes on everyone, then blows up in the final mountain stage. How tainted, how uncomfortable it would be.

I know it does not make any difference, but I do think it make's you realise- how cool this ride is.

One other thing- ithe overal could come down to seconds again- I predict the winner will have less than a minute on the second (and even third place)- unless there is some fireworks again today (which I can't see- prehaps a long break of 3 or 4 riders).

Landis has different thoughts

2006-07-20T08:32:00.000-07:00

Finished yesterday, terminator today. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

The tour has gone from dull to alive now; tomorrow's stage should be quiet- then Saturday's time trial stage should be where Landis win's this year's tour.

And hasn't he deserved it. I moaned a couple days ago about his habit of following wheels; today, he followed wheels of the cars- and went.

Daft Men

2006-07-20T04:55:00.000-07:00

Whilst out driving just now, I saw a lovely new yellow Beetle driving around- looked spanking. I always think that these cars stand out, due to the Yellow Sunflower on the dashboard- very individualistic.

Imagine my surprise when I saw that it was a bloke driving! A MAN! With a yellow sunflower!
Now, I know that it is ok for stuff like this- but seriously, you would take the flower down a bit, wouldn't you! Perhaps pop it on the passengers seat.

Unbelievable.

India bloggers angry at net ban

2006-07-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

BBC NEWS | World | South Asia | India bloggers angry at net ban

I do not really bother about freedom of speech- I suppose it is because I have it- but when I read things like this, it really makes my blood boil. This is such blatant censorship- I do find it shameful.

It also allows me to appreciate the freedom I enjoy- and how other people are surppressed into a life which is less than they should and could have.

I suppose this is why we do have so many immigrant's coming to this country- for our freedom.

Landis cracks!

2006-07-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a stage that was! It was almost embarrassing, seeing how slow Landis went after the cracked. Sastre looked good, but can he time trial? Pereiro is also good- but can he time trial? Evans still has a chance for the podium- but surely the one to gain has to be Kloden!

Tomorrow's stage has 4 big mountains on it, but with 12km from the last top to the stage end, it could come back. CSC should attack the leader to build a buffer for Sastre; Evans and Kloden to stick there.

But meantime, RIP Landis yellow jersey.

Le Tour

2006-07-19T06:47:00.000-07:00

Well, it has opened up, but has been taken control of by Landis. Evans suffered on d'eux, and has slipped back.

Observations-

Discovery is having a shocking tour- do they miss not starting with a leader?
I am finding this less exciting than when Armstrong was riding- I love the way he controlled the race, and was a patron- something which Landis is not doing- he is just holding the right wheel at the right time
Kloden is riding well
Leipheimer peaked 3 weeks early!
Sastra is a fighter- let's hope he gets some action in
Also for Chris Horner- want to see him in a long break

As I am watching now, Rasmussen is attacking, and has 8 minutes over the peleton; though he looks like he is fading.

A poem

2006-07-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

I'ld rather be Batman than Zorro
I'ld rather play today than tomorrow
I'ld rather be a bow than an arrow
I'ld rather be happy than full of sorrow
I'ld rather be a carrot than a marrow
I'ld rather be wide than narrow
I'ld rather be a robin than a sparrow
I'ld rather be a wheel than a barrel

I'ld rather be sandal's than shoes
I'ld rather sing Pop than the blues
I'ld rather be full of clucks than mooo's
I'ld rather be evidence than clues
I'ld rather be a report than the news
I'ld rather be alone than in two's

By Holly Paddon Aged 12

Le Tour goes Le uphill!

2006-07-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

On the day the real hills start in the Tour- with it's first mountain stage tomorrow- many people have asked- what is my prediction?

I predict that Discovery will attack- and then some over the next couple days; I predict a long break by Michael Rasmussen; and I think that Floyd Landis will not do much. Also expect to see Cadel Evans covering Landis like a baby's blanket.

But my gut feeling is still Evans- and Discovery coming up and featuring more and more.

We shall see....

BBC SPORT | Other sports linked to drug probe

2006-07-06T11:56:00.000-07:00

BBC SPORT | Other sports linked to drug probe

What really pisses me off, I mean, what REALLY pisses me off, is that when events like this happen, the other rider's go 'It's great to have a clean race- we knew who the dirty rider's were', like they knew all along.

Why did they not say something! Their silence is killing the sport! This has to be as bad as the drugs itself- the complacency and hypocrites!

Also- why have the other sport's men and woman not been named? There were rumors of footballers and tennis players- why have they not been revealed?

I will tell you why- because cycling is a marginal sport, which will not effect the reader numbers of the paper's who break the stories. A drug's story in the middle of the precious world cup will alienate the readership from their supporting teams- and might cost.

Cycling on the other hand is such a freak side show, that it will only add.

Just another example of how we are CONTROLLED by the media.

www.cyclingnews.com - the first WWW cycling results and news service

2006-07-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

www.cyclingnews.com - the first WWW cycling results and news service

So, how is the tour going? After Black Friday last week, the tour has started very stable- and wide open. The forced withdrawal of the favorites has left this wide open.

The course this year means that the winner will have to be able to time trial and climb. This must surely leave it more open for the English speaking riders- Floyd Landis, Levi Leipheimer, George Hincapie and my pre race favorite, Cadel Evans.

Indeed both George and Cadel looked good at the prologue. The first week rarely gives any clues- I think we will see the wheat separate from the chafe on Saturday's time trial.

I still feel confident that Cadel will come through- though the final winner may be another discovery rider continuing from Lance's reign. It does depend if George is up to the job; if not, Paulo Savoldelli is in the wings and waiting. If he can replicate his prologue onto the longer trials, then we could be having a Discovery Channel rider on 2 of the 3 podium places- along with an Australian ex-mountain biker called Cadel.

Le Tour

2006-06-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

www.cyclingnews.com news and analysis

www.cyclingnews.com news and analysis

www.cyclingnews.com news and analysis

This is all mental- the sport I love is dieing right before my eyes. 1998 is just a blip compared to this- this is the real thing.

Like many, I am in a state of surprise and shock. I do not want to add my opinion to this many which are rateling around; I just hope that the tuor is a clean and good one- where the riders hold their head up with pride.

Cycling good. Doping bad.

BBC SPORT | Other Sport... | Cycling | Ullrich free to race in Le Tour

2006-06-28T11:32:00.000-07:00

Das Jan ist der man fur der Tour! He crush the others! (Except basso, maybe).

BBC SPORT | Other Sport... | Cycling | Ullrich free to race in Le Tour

Kaiser Jan

2006-06-25T04:42:00.000-07:00

www.myspace.com/kaiserjan

Must confess to laughing a fair bit at this site.

Look out for the daily updates as Jan wins this years tour, and crushes the souls of the other's under his thighs!

Tour de France 2006

2006-06-24T04:20:00.000-07:00

So, with just a week to go to this year’s tour starts- who do I think will be the main contenders?

Ivan Basso

Ivan has had a great year, already winning the Giro with little visible effort made. Can he hold his form though? Yes, I think he can; Bjarne Riis is a magician (the new Johan Bruneel?) and can lift Ivan up to do their stated goal- the double. Can he do it? Yes. Will he? No, I just don’t think he will- it is just too much to believe- the double in these days of specialists.

Jan Ullrich

Jan just won his first full race of the year- the Tour of Switzerland. However, this as done through the time trials- his climbing was not as good as it could have been. This can be put down to ensuring he peeks when it is important. His time trial skills will gain him time; his climbing method of the slow grind could work in the absence of Armstrong- but his team is always in disarray, and will make or break his attempt.

Cadel Evans

Good form, Cadel has improved his time trialling skills measurably, and will make him a key contender for this year’s tour. He does have a weaker team, which has Robbie McEwen on who will be going for the Green Jersey- so this mean’s split loyalties. Without this 100% support, I do feel that he will miss the top step- although a top 5 place surely beckons.

Floyd Landis

Once again, Floyd had a great start to the year- but his lack of form during the Dauphine is either a poker faced move, or he has missed his form peaking. I predict he will start well, but fade as the Tour goes on.

Levi Leipheimer

Levi’s win in the Dauphine indicates top form- is it too early though? A good but not overwhelming team will support Levi to a top 7 placing; I do feel that the podium is beyond him.

George Hincapie

George could be a surprise in this tour; as the only rider to support Lance in all 7 wins, experience and race knowledge come sin abundance. He has had a quiet run up to the Tour since his handlebars parted ways on his Trek during the Paris- Roubaix. He can climb, time trial, and has a strong team who are used to controlling the tour. The only chink may be that the team does not have an (openly) declared leader- and the decision may hurt him in the first week.

Others

Tom Boonen has to be favourite for the Green jersey- the young world champ is incredible and rarely misses his goal. The polka dot jersey favourite has to be Michael Rasmussen again, the paperweight rider can climb, climb climb; it will be interesting on his time trialling performance!

The important Prologue has to go to either David Zubriskke or the motivate David Miller- my money as a brit is on Miller.

Summary

So, who will the top ten be?

Choose from –

Basso, Ullrich, Rasmussen, Evans, Landis, Hincapie, Popyvitch, Leipheimer, and Valverde.

I would say that unless a new name comes through, the top 3 will be from Basso, Ullrich and Evans.

The winner?

I would say Ullrich- out of Armstrong’s shadow, his time trial skills will bring him up- and a more focussed team than last time will pay dividends.

Can’t wait- will be a great tour! Check back here regularly for my opinions on the stages!

Overcoming

2006-06-14T06:57:00.000-07:00

I have been a bit poorly last night, so have had the day off work. To while away the hours, and the stomach cramps, I have watched this film- brilliant!

It does start a bit jumping around, and you start to question if it is going to be any good; also, when Bjarne starts to talk in his native tongue of Danish, the subtitles clash with the on screen graphics.

But then it seems to start- Carlos Sastre loses his brother, and Bjarne has to look at the dynamics of the team, whilst supporting Carlos through his difficult time.

Bang! All of a sudden, you realize that you do care, and are then taken on a roller coaster of a ride. Although it does tell the story of the 2004 tour, it is more story of Bjarne Riis and his team. It has highs- and lows- and completes this story brilliantly.

The only shame is that the high of the film is Ivan Basso winning a stage- you would have thought that he had won the tour. This is, in fairness, portrayed well, and the disappointment of Basso being caught on the time trial is palpable.

The title does sum up the film excellently- we are all over coming the odds. The film could portray Armstrong as the enemy- and does not- they play him very well. Ullrich? Who's Ullrich? He is not mentioned or seen!

Well worth the time and the money. Well recommended!